Monday, June 30, 2008

Allow me to introduce myself

What is the appropriate way to start a new blog? Is there an official etiquette, a socially acceptable way to announce to the online world, "I'm here"? I suppose it doesn't matter. Everything I post will likely be scarcely a whisper compared to the voices of the Blogging Greats, whoever they may be. How they achieved their "fame" I will never know, and yet I do seek a smidgen of fame--or at least notoriety--in my corner of cyberspace.

But enough rambling. I've already decided how to introduce myself:

"Hi, I'm Trevor, and I'm a madman."

I'm creating this blog because I believe I am on the fast track to a nervous breakdown, and I need an outlet to share my feelings and my attempts to "reconstruct" my life from the resulting rubble of my 31 years of self-destructive behavior. Call me cheap if you'd like, but a free Blogspot account sure beats paying $75 per 30 minute session to a therapist whose main job is to ask how I feel about things. Lousy, miserable, hateful, angry. That's how I feel. To whom do I make out the check?

I've been wanting to start an autotherapy blog for quite a while, but only recently has my daily life gotten to a point where therapy is no longer an option. This blog is my first attempt at truly recognizing my faults, identifying the roots of my neuroses, and healing my relationships with my family. I like to call it self-construction. As a secondary objective, I hope this blog will eventually gain a core readership who can provide feedback and even let me know if I am as crazy as I think I am.

I believe that I must understand how events in my past molded my personality. Thus, I will provide plenty of flashbacks to scenes that, for one reason or another, stand out vividly in my childhood and not-so-distant memories. I will also try to form a link between my present behaviors and incidents in my past.

With that, I bid thee welcome. I hope that some day I can write an ending; that this blog becomes a footnote, or at most a chapter, in the story of my life.

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